No training today, thank god.
Basically I spent the whole day bumming around until Zabes picked me up to go grocery shopping. I bought 3 weeks worth of food, though it feels like I only got 1 weeks worth. We'll see if my food supply can last me until the first week of September. September already? wow time moves so fast.
I was supposed to meet this tinder guy at Walmart. Australian, his name is Declan, idk how he ended up in Blono for 5 months but he did and he's not in school he does some sort of racing. We ended up not running into each other. I'm kinda glad. It would have been super weird.
Zabes and I unpacked the car, and then jetted off towards bingo. Watterson move-in made everything difficult with all the road closures. And we ended up not winning any rounds, but we had a good time. I got a pretzel and a taco, she got the nacho supreme. It was delicious- and fairly cheap too.
Thursday, August 13, 2015
Day 2
I went to training part 2. It was boring as per usual, but thankfully not as long as it normally is. I got my new student manager shirts. They look really cool, however, the Medium is a little small. I can't tell if its because I have a long torso or because I'm well endowed and have a pot belly- things I hope to eradicate during my new workout regime.
Here are the classes I am going to take during my first week
Yoga
Athletic Yoga
Restorative Yoga
Cycle
Enduroride
Blacklight ride
High Intensity Interval Training Ride
Ballet Barre
Zumba
I want to be this DD cup once and for all. I am sick of not being able to fit into tops or dresses because of my boobs, of having to buy new bras constantly because I keep gaining weight. NO MORE! I want to be thin again and I am going to work for it. We don't have a scale in our apartment anymore (it was Kara's. pff. figures) which I think is a good thing. That way I won't be so focused on how much I weigh, but how good I feel.
Also I accidentally went on a date today. My friend Aaron and I have been flirty ever since we met, but this is my first time without a boyfriend. I thought it might be a date but I wasn't sure. The more time we spent together, the more I realized he thought it was a date, and I didn't like that idea. He invited himself over to my apartment- twice. He didn't say thank you when I payed for dinner and his jokes were, frankly, lame. Thankfully he works a lot so it will be a while before he is able to hangout with me anyway. I'll clear up the date stuff next time. I had to pretend to be tired so he would go home. yeah. pathetic.
Here are the classes I am going to take during my first week
Yoga
Athletic Yoga
Restorative Yoga
Cycle
Enduroride
Blacklight ride
High Intensity Interval Training Ride
Ballet Barre
Zumba
I want to be this DD cup once and for all. I am sick of not being able to fit into tops or dresses because of my boobs, of having to buy new bras constantly because I keep gaining weight. NO MORE! I want to be thin again and I am going to work for it. We don't have a scale in our apartment anymore (it was Kara's. pff. figures) which I think is a good thing. That way I won't be so focused on how much I weigh, but how good I feel.
Also I accidentally went on a date today. My friend Aaron and I have been flirty ever since we met, but this is my first time without a boyfriend. I thought it might be a date but I wasn't sure. The more time we spent together, the more I realized he thought it was a date, and I didn't like that idea. He invited himself over to my apartment- twice. He didn't say thank you when I payed for dinner and his jokes were, frankly, lame. Thankfully he works a lot so it will be a while before he is able to hangout with me anyway. I'll clear up the date stuff next time. I had to pretend to be tired so he would go home. yeah. pathetic.
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
Day 1: part 2
the train was almost an hour late. I met a self-proclaimed hussler named Pee-wee. I can't make this stuff up. He was actually incredibly insightful. It was nice to talk to him, even if he did talk for way too long and his conversations weren't exactly focused. One thing he said which really struck me- start teaching 2nd and 3rd graders about the law- not about government, but about the law, as a way to create better law abiding citizens for the future. Fascinating stuff.
the cute boy on the train was a dead end. Once he started talking to his friend, he seemed like a dousche.
I got back with an hour to spare. Ran home, quick showered, and had to walk the 20 minutes to Linkins dining center. Bleh. Needless to say I was sweaty by the time I got there. I spent 4 hours 1) outcast by my fellow student managers. I was utterly alone for most of the process 2) listening to stupid crap that I consider common sense: "don't cut your finger off, don't be an idiot, don't be a dick to other people"
I have another day of training today. This session is 5 hours long. I am hoping that it will end early like yesterday's did.
Aaron and I ended up rescheduling our ice cream. We were both exhausted. I took a nap almost as soon as I got back from training.
Zabes and I watched Austenland which is a hilarious movie. It's so campy and dumb but its funny. "talley-ho!"
I cried for a bit. I miss my mom. I am frustrated. Zabes called me pretentious and a jerk. Both of which are true, but it hurts to hear it. I kinda hate myself. I know that this is why I am taking time away from guys. I have to learn to love myself. But so far, this has been a difficult process.
I had a dream last night- along with a bunch of strange theatrics, I saw my mom's best friend Cheryl, and I gave her a hug and just sobbed. It was nice to see her, and it was nice to cry. Sometimes I think I grieve more in my dreams than in real life.
the cute boy on the train was a dead end. Once he started talking to his friend, he seemed like a dousche.
I got back with an hour to spare. Ran home, quick showered, and had to walk the 20 minutes to Linkins dining center. Bleh. Needless to say I was sweaty by the time I got there. I spent 4 hours 1) outcast by my fellow student managers. I was utterly alone for most of the process 2) listening to stupid crap that I consider common sense: "don't cut your finger off, don't be an idiot, don't be a dick to other people"
I have another day of training today. This session is 5 hours long. I am hoping that it will end early like yesterday's did.
Aaron and I ended up rescheduling our ice cream. We were both exhausted. I took a nap almost as soon as I got back from training.
Zabes and I watched Austenland which is a hilarious movie. It's so campy and dumb but its funny. "talley-ho!"
I cried for a bit. I miss my mom. I am frustrated. Zabes called me pretentious and a jerk. Both of which are true, but it hurts to hear it. I kinda hate myself. I know that this is why I am taking time away from guys. I have to learn to love myself. But so far, this has been a difficult process.
I had a dream last night- along with a bunch of strange theatrics, I saw my mom's best friend Cheryl, and I gave her a hug and just sobbed. It was nice to see her, and it was nice to cry. Sometimes I think I grieve more in my dreams than in real life.
Monday, August 10, 2015
Day 1 of this new chapter.
I wonder how many posts I have started like this,
today is the first day of a new chapter of my life.
but this time, I really mean it.
Chris and I broke up after 11 months of dating. My choice. After my mom's death I decided I needed some time to myself to re-evalute my life and what makes me happy. I figured this would be faster than journaling and I often have the desire to type for long periods of time so I might as well start up my blog again.
Day 1 of my new self
Today I was up early, 4:45am to be exact, to catch a train back to Normal. I have already moved all my stuff into my apartment, but I don't have a parking space so I had to drive my car to and from Normal so that I could unload my stuff and still get to Normal in time. The train is currently stopped in Joliet. There is a cute boy sitting across the aisle from me. He is nice to look at, though I know I look disgusting since I haven't showered in 2 days. I also hear the sound of children running and playing, as well as smelling the savory scent of pepperoni pizza. Someone must have gotten something from the lounge car. The train is supposed to arrive in Normal in 1 hour. Right now, I don't think that will happen. I do hope that it gets in sooner rather than later. I have my APL training at 11 and I would like to eat something before I go. Yes, I did have breakfast, but that was a 5am! I'm bound to be hungry again by then.
In the meantime, I shall talk about my goals for the next semester
-get myself out of Honors probation
- rejoin Food Recovery Network
- do well in my classes (maybe audit a spanish class?)
- get super fit. like workout 3-4 days a week. I have to make up for the exercise I was getting from dance class
- spend more time with my roommates and my friends
- flirt a little (c'mon guys. its me. I can't not flirt. I just won't make any commitments as of now)
Here is what I plan to do with the rest of my day:
finish up this train ride
eat (hopefully)
go to APL student manager training for like 6 hours (I better get paid for training)
Have ice cream with Aaron
Hang out with Zabes
P.s. This cute boy is very very cute... ;)
today is the first day of a new chapter of my life.
but this time, I really mean it.
Chris and I broke up after 11 months of dating. My choice. After my mom's death I decided I needed some time to myself to re-evalute my life and what makes me happy. I figured this would be faster than journaling and I often have the desire to type for long periods of time so I might as well start up my blog again.
Day 1 of my new self
Today I was up early, 4:45am to be exact, to catch a train back to Normal. I have already moved all my stuff into my apartment, but I don't have a parking space so I had to drive my car to and from Normal so that I could unload my stuff and still get to Normal in time. The train is currently stopped in Joliet. There is a cute boy sitting across the aisle from me. He is nice to look at, though I know I look disgusting since I haven't showered in 2 days. I also hear the sound of children running and playing, as well as smelling the savory scent of pepperoni pizza. Someone must have gotten something from the lounge car. The train is supposed to arrive in Normal in 1 hour. Right now, I don't think that will happen. I do hope that it gets in sooner rather than later. I have my APL training at 11 and I would like to eat something before I go. Yes, I did have breakfast, but that was a 5am! I'm bound to be hungry again by then.
In the meantime, I shall talk about my goals for the next semester
-get myself out of Honors probation
- rejoin Food Recovery Network
- do well in my classes (maybe audit a spanish class?)
- get super fit. like workout 3-4 days a week. I have to make up for the exercise I was getting from dance class
- spend more time with my roommates and my friends
- flirt a little (c'mon guys. its me. I can't not flirt. I just won't make any commitments as of now)
Here is what I plan to do with the rest of my day:
finish up this train ride
eat (hopefully)
go to APL student manager training for like 6 hours (I better get paid for training)
Have ice cream with Aaron
Hang out with Zabes
P.s. This cute boy is very very cute... ;)
Sunday, January 5, 2014
# 5 pets
Today I am grateful for my animals. I have two cats and a dog. I will be honest and say that I favor my cats over my dog. Sorry, but I do. Phew. Glad I got that off my chest. However, I am very grateful for all my pets. My two cats, Oscar and Sasha, and my dog, Jelly. When I'm at school, obviously I don't have my pets and you come realize how much you miss having a furry friend around. Sasha is currently napping on my bed, and Oscar said hello while I did my laundry. Jelly needs no occasion to lick someone's face. They are truly part of the family. and, especially during this tough time, it's nice to have a silent, supportive friend. I'm going to miss them when I leave in four days. Also, I've read that the two best things for battling depression are exercise and spending time with pets. I better spend as much time with my pets as possible! <3 I love them to pieces.
Oscar and Me
Jelly
Sasha
#4: bread and butter
January 4th, 2014
#4
Today I am grateful for butter, specifically bread and butter. They are so delicious. You know the restaurant you are eating at is a good one if they give you bread and butter. It's my lifeblood. (So I am really hoping that I am not allergic to gluten) I love bread and I love butter but when you put them together, it's wonderful. I love how something so simple can be so satisfying and delicious. It is always my favorite part of the meal. It's warm and savory and chewy. It makes my taste buds light up! If they're serving something I don't like or can't eat, bread and butter will always be there. I snapped this picture when Devin and I went out for lunch, the day before he had to head back to school. It was a delicious meal. I ate the leftovers today. yum. If only they would have let us take the bread home too.
#4
Today I am grateful for butter, specifically bread and butter. They are so delicious. You know the restaurant you are eating at is a good one if they give you bread and butter. It's my lifeblood. (So I am really hoping that I am not allergic to gluten) I love bread and I love butter but when you put them together, it's wonderful. I love how something so simple can be so satisfying and delicious. It is always my favorite part of the meal. It's warm and savory and chewy. It makes my taste buds light up! If they're serving something I don't like or can't eat, bread and butter will always be there. I snapped this picture when Devin and I went out for lunch, the day before he had to head back to school. It was a delicious meal. I ate the leftovers today. yum. If only they would have let us take the bread home too.
Saturday, January 4, 2014
365 Grateful days 2 and 3
I skipped January 1st simply due to when I watched the 365 grateful video, but since I was only one day off, I thought I could get away with a retroactive post.
Day #1 January 1st, 2014
I am grateful for the snow, and not just any snow, but the snow in my backyard. The way the snow piles on the evergreens and on the weird but somehow beautiful trellis that lines the deck. I watch it snow from my window. Everyone talks about how cold it is outside, or how miserable the roads are or whatever, but I just think it is beautiful. It makes me wish I had a snowsuit that fit me so I could run outside and play in the snow just like when I was a kid. Snow isn't a menace, it is a winter wonderland. <3
Day #3 January 3rd, 2014
Today, and everyday, I am grateful for my boyfriend Devin. He is truly my best friend and the love of my life. He is the only person I can act like an absolute dork and feel totally comfortable with myself. He's also the person that holds me when I cry and holds my fin when I need to muscle through the gross times. He is so incredibly good to me. He gets up from the couch to make me food when I don't want to. He gives me massages when my shoulders get tense. He drives me everywhere with no question of gas money, even though I know he's strapped for cash. He'll take walks with me even though it is only 12 degrees outside just because I want more steps on my fitibt. He's generous and caring. His family has welcomed me with open arms. He is sweet, and most of all forgiving. I have wanted to break up with him on several occassions, and I know that sounds really bad, but most of the time its because I'm scared of losing him because we'll be fighting so much. I'd rather break up, then have him leave me. But no matter how long it takes, he will always forgive me. He knows I'm going through a rough time, and he knows I don't mean to take it out on him and he knows I'm sorry. I love him so much. He is so good to me. I just want to spend the rest of my life with him. Only the lucky few get to marry such a great dork like this one. :P
('hold my fin' comes from Finding Nemo. The phrase originated from my sister and I. Any time our parents were being embarrassing or we were in a situation we just couldn't handle, she would say 'hold my fin' and we would hold hands)
Day #1 January 1st, 2014
I am grateful for the snow, and not just any snow, but the snow in my backyard. The way the snow piles on the evergreens and on the weird but somehow beautiful trellis that lines the deck. I watch it snow from my window. Everyone talks about how cold it is outside, or how miserable the roads are or whatever, but I just think it is beautiful. It makes me wish I had a snowsuit that fit me so I could run outside and play in the snow just like when I was a kid. Snow isn't a menace, it is a winter wonderland. <3
Day #3 January 3rd, 2014
Today, and everyday, I am grateful for my boyfriend Devin. He is truly my best friend and the love of my life. He is the only person I can act like an absolute dork and feel totally comfortable with myself. He's also the person that holds me when I cry and holds my fin when I need to muscle through the gross times. He is so incredibly good to me. He gets up from the couch to make me food when I don't want to. He gives me massages when my shoulders get tense. He drives me everywhere with no question of gas money, even though I know he's strapped for cash. He'll take walks with me even though it is only 12 degrees outside just because I want more steps on my fitibt. He's generous and caring. His family has welcomed me with open arms. He is sweet, and most of all forgiving. I have wanted to break up with him on several occassions, and I know that sounds really bad, but most of the time its because I'm scared of losing him because we'll be fighting so much. I'd rather break up, then have him leave me. But no matter how long it takes, he will always forgive me. He knows I'm going through a rough time, and he knows I don't mean to take it out on him and he knows I'm sorry. I love him so much. He is so good to me. I just want to spend the rest of my life with him. Only the lucky few get to marry such a great dork like this one. :P
('hold my fin' comes from Finding Nemo. The phrase originated from my sister and I. Any time our parents were being embarrassing or we were in a situation we just couldn't handle, she would say 'hold my fin' and we would hold hands)
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