buying gifts for my boyfriend's birthday. i feel like it's super lame.
birthday shaped pasta, a chocolate peanut butter pie i'm planning on making him, CDs for the car, and a dark green t-shirt (like one of those lame plain one you get for under $5) because i love him in green. i'm probably going to go out to target soon to see if there's anything i like better for him.
it feels lame. i wanted to get him a watch but i feel like his parents are going to buy that for him.
maybe i'll go to barnes and noble and find one of those quirky books like "fail this test" or "wreck this journal" that would probably mean more.
gah! he's gonna hate it.
i got him a book called "book of whale insults" i thought it was fitting.
still feeling REALLY lame. I'm thinking i'm going to have to do something great on the day of his birthday. picnic? but what if the pie melts? if i leave it behind he'll never get it. or want it.
why is this so difficult
i'm listening to rocky and bullwinkle. listening. not watching.
used to love this show.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Friday, April 6, 2012
college
i really should be in bed. i need to get up in 8 hours and i dont do well under a lot of stress when i'm low on sleep.
my boyfriend and have been together for 10 months. i had known him for two years before we started dating and we were really close- we should've been dating then. its complex. whatever.
the point is we're both very committed to each other. I love him. he loves me. we hope to get married and have a family someday.
i've decided on my college- Illinois State.
He's between University of Illinois and Georgia tech.
naturally, i want him to go to U of I so he can be close to me and his friends and his home. and it's cheaper. but it's a lot like the high school we just went to. VERY stressful and competitive. 4500 students.
georgia tech is a lot farther away (can't visit/come home often), costs more, but he also was accepted directly into his program.
if you look at education only: georgia tech is the match
if you look at social: either, but leaning towards U of I.
he's visiting georgia tech now. and he says he's really liking it. and i have a feeling that's going to be a better fit for him. it's smaller. He's going to have more personal contact with his professors. it's his field. and if that is what he chooses, i'll be so happy he found a school that makes him happy. that he knows he belongs. but it'll break my heart. he'll be so far away. and what will happen to us? does that mean we have to break up when we leave for college. is that the end of the line?
I don't want it to be.
and i've heard stories of people who dated all throughout college from several states away and ended up getting married after college. but who knows what could happen. he could meet some awesome engineer major. or i could meet someone. who knows what hand life will deal me. deal us.
but i don't want to let go.
i can't. i love him. i really do. if i didn't i wouldnt be crying right now. i wouldnt be posting this blog for the first time in so long.
it's going to be hard no matter where he goes- it'll just be a sliver easier if he's still in IL. :/
i think i'm going to pick up blogging again. i have a lot i need to get out. most definitely
my boyfriend and have been together for 10 months. i had known him for two years before we started dating and we were really close- we should've been dating then. its complex. whatever.
the point is we're both very committed to each other. I love him. he loves me. we hope to get married and have a family someday.
i've decided on my college- Illinois State.
He's between University of Illinois and Georgia tech.
naturally, i want him to go to U of I so he can be close to me and his friends and his home. and it's cheaper. but it's a lot like the high school we just went to. VERY stressful and competitive. 4500 students.
georgia tech is a lot farther away (can't visit/come home often), costs more, but he also was accepted directly into his program.
if you look at education only: georgia tech is the match
if you look at social: either, but leaning towards U of I.
he's visiting georgia tech now. and he says he's really liking it. and i have a feeling that's going to be a better fit for him. it's smaller. He's going to have more personal contact with his professors. it's his field. and if that is what he chooses, i'll be so happy he found a school that makes him happy. that he knows he belongs. but it'll break my heart. he'll be so far away. and what will happen to us? does that mean we have to break up when we leave for college. is that the end of the line?
I don't want it to be.
and i've heard stories of people who dated all throughout college from several states away and ended up getting married after college. but who knows what could happen. he could meet some awesome engineer major. or i could meet someone. who knows what hand life will deal me. deal us.
but i don't want to let go.
i can't. i love him. i really do. if i didn't i wouldnt be crying right now. i wouldnt be posting this blog for the first time in so long.
it's going to be hard no matter where he goes- it'll just be a sliver easier if he's still in IL. :/
i think i'm going to pick up blogging again. i have a lot i need to get out. most definitely
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