I don't care what anyone says, no one will understand what it is like to have a loved one go through cancer unless it has happened to them.
I don't care how many books or movies you've seen about cancer or how many relatives you've had who died from cancer before you were born. It will never be anywhere close. You will never get how it feels. especially at my age. no one my age understands what i'm going through. no one gets that this affects me every single day. that i want to be able to talk to someone about it every single day. someone that I can really trust with my emotions. I don't feel like I can trust as many people as i used to be able to.
i'm so distant from everyone and everything. my roommate and i don't have a good relationship. the people i am closest too are the farthest away and we don't talk enough. the ones that are here don't get it. my schedule is about to get very busy. and i'll be a little more distracted. i won't be thinking about it as often. and yet i know that because i'm more busy, i won't be talking about it as much and i'll just cry and cry. and explode.
Hey,
ReplyDeletefirst off I'm sorry I've been so busy lately and haven't been available or able to text or call you. I'm actually procrastinating right now on loads of stuff, but that's not my point.
I've had an aunt die from breast cancer. She was close, but I was a bit younger (not too much though) than I am now. No one wanted to tell me what was happening to her, the only info I received was through eavesdropping. So I didn't know exactly how bad it was until I visited her in the hospital. I admit my experience wasn't nearly as bad as what you have to go through right now. Especially since I wasn't fully aware that cancer could kill at my age. I wasn't even aware of how she was being treated. But it is something.
I just want you to know that I won't tell you lies about it being okay because no one really knows for sure. and I won't tell you that I understand, because I don't fully. and I sure as hell won't tell you that you're overreacting.
I will, however, tell you the truth. I'll listen if you need it, offer feedback if you want it. I'll find the time to do all my other stuff if need be.
so message me on skype or text or whatever.
I don't want you to feel completely alone with this.
~Danielle