Becoming a Writer

The more I blog, the more I realize that I really like to write. I've always loved editing. Editing my own work, editing other peoples. The red pen and I were always close friends. I would rip essays apart and they would becoming sparkling on the other end of the tunnel- or least a lot better than they started out. I applied this love of editing into a love of stage directing. I will watch a scene and analyze what is wrong with it and makes notes. I have always been like this, since sophomore year when I first took acting 1. I was the kid that always had an entire page full of notes. Currently I'm majoring in Theatre Studies with a concentration in Directing. However, now I am curious if that will change to an English major with a concentration in publishing, or maybe I'll double major? Anything is possible.
Okay, back on track. I'm talking about writing. My love of writing came from editing and acting. I loved being able to write my own pieces for acting class. I loved being able to write about my life and my experiences and share them with everyone. Over these last few years of high school I have come to realize that I only really love to write if I can write about something I care deeply about. Is it completely selfish to say myself or my life? Let's face it, I've gone through a lot of hardships in my life and I have never really gotten over them so writing is an outlet. But I like writing about my feelings, even if over and over and over again. I also like writing in things I'm interested in (no duh). I took a Film Genres Class last semester that I absolutely loved, it counted as our English credit, and I loved writing the write-ups about the movies we watched. Even if I didn't like the movie or didn't connect with it as well as others, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Writing about Alien or Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid or Brick or The Day the Earth Stood Still and many others. Even if I knew that I was b.s.ing my way through a writing assignment, doing the period before class, I still enjoyed it. It's the forced writing that I never liked. Research papers, science projects, papers on books I didn't like,etc.
The funny part is, I don't read that often. I wouldn't call myself a 'reader'. Maybe this is because I am very picky about my type of book. I need to be caught in the first page of a book for me to even consider reading it. Some people would say I'm not giving it chance, I say, if the book isn't going to grab my attention, I shouldn't give it my attention either. I also wonder if my picking reading makes for a good editor or publisher.  But I feel like I would only publish a certain type of book, and if I was a part of a big publishing house, it would be hard for me to choose certain types of books. I would get stuck reading long books about the history of whoever and I would hate it. So maybe I don't want to publish. You probably have to love to read to be a publisher. So maybe I'll become a writer. Though I'm pretty sure you have to love to read if you want to write. a paradox!

What will i do?
I've always wanted to compile a book of journal entries or things i've blogged about. sort of like an ode to P.S. Longer Letter Later except with less plot. However, I'm pretty sure if I sent that to an editor they would be like, "why would I want to read about your problems?" and then I get sad and discouraged and do something else with my life.
Maybe I should write a book about my hardships. The illnesses I've delt with over the years.
Maybe i'l compile journal entries that no one will read. not even me.