#1
There is something so refreshing
about a clean white sheet
of paper
filled with promise and potential
great thoughts could be found here
or a few crude doodles
upon this lined prison
blues and red
a trap for ideas and thoughts
and dreams and ambitions stopped.
short.
finite in what it has to offer
letters
syllables
words
put together to create
the largest schemes
or the most miniscule of objects
and eyelash, a wish
cost out into the world
with a faith
in the ever-sweeping tide
#2
Regret
Confusion
Hesitation
You feel me
I feel air
desire for a dream
for an idea
for love, for intimacy
not for you
wait
time
the click of the clock
can't measure the feeling
the loss
the white blossome
crushed by a metal rod
killing it instantly
wow, these suck a lot more than I remember. eesh.... Oh well. I will continue to post them anyway. why the hell not?
#2B
the want to want
to want something
you can't have
attracted to 'no'
#3
I close my eyes
I drift to sleep
and you haunt me
I try to love him
but I can't
you're there
controlling my brain
he's a good person
and he makes me smile
but it's all a lie
it was all a lie
you're a liar
you made me a liar
you gutted me
and put out your cigar
on my innocence
#4
it's kind of a funny feeling
emptiness and anxiety
living in the moment
analyzing the possibilities
over analyzing really
worried by what could be
what ought to be
as opposed to what is
i'm balancing myself
unsuccessfully
between the longing for my lost piece of self
and a new opportunity
is appreciation possible without
that piece of me
can i have real feelings?
can i care for someone else
do i have the time
the energy
the heart
when my own is still healing
still affected. and he doesn't even know
crushed. broken. shattered.
#5
sometimes you just need to be sad
might be unhealthy
to feel this way on a semi
regular basis.
i feel sad. depressed. disappointed.
and my itunes playlist gets put to use.
they suggest upbeat music
to raise my spirits.
denied.
forced happiness when i'm upset
makes my fire burn
i become unnecessarily angry
the rain has lost its usual luster
like a million tears from those
who've died. or who were in pain.
i empathize with their sorrow.
as I curl up in a room of faded light
a drift away from it all
the sad melodies comforting me
in my time of need
i need someone to hold me
and protect me
to fend off the demons that haunt my soul
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