While I know that sounds stupid and conceited and "its the inside that counts", and I completely agree with that, the inside is what matters. It just so happens that having a visually appealing outside also helps with boosting my self esteem and therefore feeling better myself as a whole.
Especially as I am going through this emotionally trying time, my mother being on her final months/years. Some days I'm great. Some days I feel like shit. Some days I'm angry at everyone or I can't stop crying or whatever it is and a really nice looking and feeling me, makes me feel better. A week or two ago I got these REALLY cute turquoise jeans, originally from target for almost $30, I got them at goodwill, never worn- all the tags still in tact, for $7. and they were so cute and I felt great. and they were cheap and etc. You get the jist. Cute clothes and self act as a self esteem booster. Which sometimes I need when my friends aren't around as much.
So here is my plan for the rest of the semester and onward through the summer.
1. Teeth: whitened and healthier.
a. I had bought a great mouthwash a while ago and now I'm actually going to start using it
b. I started the baking soda regimen. I have heard such good things about it. You basically just ______brush your teeth with baking soda once a day and it supposed to remove the stains. It says in ______about 2 weeks I should have a noticeable difference in my smile. Yay! Can't wait.
2. Hair: new color and cut(?)
a. I want to dye my hair because I've never really done it before and It is time for a change and I ______will be able to handle it this time. I am going between light auburn and honey brown.
____b. The picture of Jayma Mays is what I am thinking of for the auburn category.
Unfortunately, no matter what hair color I decide upon, I have to be able to afford to get it done at a salon or hope I get the results I want out of the box. and then at that point, I have to get color safe shampoo and conditioner and I have to figure out what to do when my roots come in, etc. It is a lot of up keep that I don't really care all that much about.
However. I do know that I need a change in my style and look and how I feel and hair is a big part of that. and Also I want to go lighter for spring. (I posted a status about this on facebook and some bitchy girl I've talked to 3 times was like 'those would be horrible for you, try these' and she proceeded to show me the ugliest, darkest red brown hair styles I have ever seen. yuck.)
3. Exercise: the dreaded exercising. It is good for me. and I almost never do it. and I really should, especially if I want to wear clothes that look good on me and that I feel good in. Also, If i want to be able to fit back into the bras I've been popping out of. I want this tummy to be smaller and my legs to be stronger. I should go to the gym tomorrow with Emma. yea.
I'm already formulating a plan of dietary action in my head for when i'm back at school: cereal for breakfast and piece of fruit, salad/fruit and some sort of protein at lunch, veggie sandwich at subway for dinner. Now to try to do something like that while I'm at home too..
4. Clothes. I need new clothes. I am a thrift store shopper because i'm poor and because of my decision to go with thrift store clothes, 1. a lot of their items lose their appeal after 6 months 2. they will be stained or too short but you buy it because its cheap. Since I'm hoping to lose about 10 lbs during this process, clothes will be last since I don't want to buy for the undesirable body I currently have. I want those dresses to fit again. I can't really wear them as much because my boobs have gotten too big and they pop out. I want to be able to wear a tight shirt with skinny jeans and not feel self conscious about my stomach or my breast.
Also I just need new pieces. and I need to make myself a style book because I think I run out of ideas too quickly. I don't always know what would go good with what until someone points it out to me.
5. Skin. My face has always been an issue. It has been slightly more in control now that I use a cleanser and a moisturizer once a day everyday. My skin is usually very red. my pores are very large and i have scattered acne. I will try to cleanse more at night and switch to a moisturizer that will minimize my pores to make my pores invisible and my skin smooth. I want to look like how I would with makeup on. I don't like wearing makeup because it clogs my pores. I'd like to be able to not wear makeup everyday and still look and feel amazing.
Let's hope I can actually stick to this resolution. I really need to be good with myself before I can face the impending doom of my mom's death.
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